Thanks for Nothing!

I’m a loser. I have lived here for almost four years and I still don’t have a physician. I went home sick on Tuesday with a certain painful ailment and went to Urgent Care on Wednesday morning. I almost always go to Urgent Care because you don’t need an appointment. They took a specimen sample and sent me off with an antibiotic, Bactrim. They told me they’d call me tomorrow (Thursday) with the results. I wasn’t feeling any better on Thursday so I thought I’d give them a call myself to get these darn results. I was told that it was too soon, and they’d give me a call on Saturday.

Thursday night I was getting ready to go to bed early because Chris had a final very early in the morning and we would have to wake up at 5:30 am. The thought of going to bed was not sitting well with me because I knew I was not going to be able to get through the night so I opted to go to the emergency room. I know, Thursday night, ER…but that got cancelled! On the way over I mentioned to Chris that I hated the fact that I was on Bactrim because I had been on it for two years due to a very stupid dermatologist. (I decided after two years that I didn’t want to be on antibiotics anymore so I went off it and stopped seeing him.) I wouldn’t be surprised if I needed to be on another antibiotic.

We arrived at a packed ER and when I was finally called into triage, I mentioned to the nurse that I had my suspicions about the Bactrim and she said it could be true. They took another specimen sample and two vials of blood. I have a gorgeous bruise on my hand now thanks to my cool young doctor who almost left the room without removing my tourniquet. When I asked her if she wanted it back she tried to take it off with one hand – she had something in her other hand. She didn’t succeed at removing it, but she did succeed at ripping off a fair amount of arm hair. I offered to take it off myself with success. After a while of exchanging bitchy comments, she decided to – get this: stop Bactrim and start Cipro. She also offered one Vicodin so that I could sleep. On our way out, she gave me one Cipro pill and two Vicodins because I’m cool (her words, not mine).

I picked up the prescription on Friday and since then had begun feeling better, but I’m still extremely tired. I was sitting at my desk today and noticed that I missed a call. The voicemail said that it was the Urgent Care (from Wednesday) and that they need me to call immediately. I did. I got a series of girls who once they had my name and birthdate said “Oh, um….can you hold?”. The fifth or sixth person I got said “Oh, uh…so we got your results, and the bacteria you have is resistant to Bactrim. We need you to come in and get a prescription for Cipro”. I feel bad, but I laughed out loud. I said, “Thanks, but that won’t be necessary. I went to the ER on Thursday night and got my Cipro.” She said, “We’re very sorry you had to go to the ER. Is there anything else we can do for you?” I said, “Thanks for NOTHING, you Idiot! You owe me $29!” Just kidding. I didn’t say that. But I wanted to.