Sour Grapes

About three weeks ago, Chris borrowed my car to run an errand with our friend Jim. When they returned, they told me that my car smelled funny. They said it smelled like garlic. It could be my lunchbox cooler. I leave it in my car and it contains garlic flavored hummus. We made it a point to go to Target to replace my old car freshener. To my chagrin, they didn’t carry my brand anymore. I was forced to choose between one that smells like fruit and one that smells like linen. I opted for the linen. When I got into the car and activated it, I immediately regretted my decision. For weeks I’ve hated the way my car smells. Yesterday I went to Bed Bath & Beyond to buy a gift for a friend. When I pulled into the parking lot, I realized that I didn’t have any coupons, which sucks, because I have over a zillion at home in my other purse. Unwilling to give them my 20%, I dove into the back seat, where I knew I had mail. I figured it was possible that I had another coupon back there, but again, I was brutally rebuffed. I went to the trunk, where I knew I had some books and magazines (and about 4 coats – you never know). Maybe there was a coupon in that paper mess, when behold: I saw a grocery bag. What on earth is in there? I opened it up, and initially it was unrecognizable, but then it hit me: what I was looking at was at one point a bag of grapes…it had been covered with cottony mold. I felt the phenomenon that Chris has joked about for years, but I knew nothing about – shock vomit. (The only other time I came close to shock vomit was when I did a google image search on "Rat Kings") Yuck. I threw the bag in the mulch next to my parked car. Underneath it was two magazines damp with who knows what. I didn’t dare look inside for a coupon. I tossed everything in the trash and went on with my day, laughing to myself every time I remembered the occurrence. This morning I got inside my car and realized for the first time that Fresh Linen doesn’t smell so bad after all.