Because everyone is just dying to know, Amber’s bachelorette party was fun, if not sobering. It confirmed what I had assumed before, which is, I am through with alcohol and partying for GOOD. Two cosmopolitans, two vague alcoholic soda-type drinks, two cranberries and vodka juice and one shot of jäger will do that to you. Something else, we hired a male dancer; a disgusting waste of money is what I call him (but his brother was cute). He is perhaps the most unintelligent person I've met (see invoice below), but hey, God bless him. There were decorations that would make anyone blush, but they were unbelievably creative. This poster of Chris was a surprise. Apparently he’s a model and I didn’t know it!
A limo picked us up at Amber’s after the grossfest and drove us to Richmond. We bar hopped, which is exhausting! The first bar was so…blah. I did enjoy the attention we received from our costumes, though. We started dancing – which is weird when you haven’t danced in a long time! We left because of an argument or something of the like. I forget. The limo then took us to a fetish club which was a snooze fest. (Just don’t touch anything and you’ll be fine.) We were given a speech about not taking photos, blah, blah, blah, and if you feel like disrobing, just keep your privates covered at all times. Gross. I saw two dudes standing at the bar in tighty-whities and shoes. Laaaaaaame. Our friend fell down dancing, so we picked up her loose items and left out of embarrassment. The next bar was fun. Dorks everywhere but awesome music! We danced a lot. We sat at the bar and I babysat my new drunk friend while a loser was trying to talk to her. When we turned around to take a picture, I realized that her toolbag friend was about to drink my shot- the shot I bought myself! I slapped him on the hand before it touched his lips. He apologized. I offered to buy him a drink if he really needs one so badly (maybe he was homeless), but he said, “No, but I’ll buy YOU a drink”. I said, “No thanks, I’ll just take the one I bought myself originally”. Then I slammed it, grabbed my girls and left. The next bar was a pub and I met a cool guy that shared my birthday (he was EIGHT years younger!) and wasn’t a complete dick when I told him I was married. We talked about school and music, and he was impressed by my stories of Chris. His friend, on the other hand, was a complete tool. He kept putting his hand on my knee even after I told him not to. He was completely embarrassing to all of us. I got up after rolling my eyes for the hundredth time and said goodbye and headed to the limo for the ride back. It was an eternity of a drive. When I arrived back at Amber’s, Chris was asleep on the couch waiting for me. (He and Jason went to a Karaoke bar. How adorable!) I was so happy to be back even though I was ashamed of my scent – I smelled like an honest-to-goodness hooker. We got into bed at 4 am. I got up at 2:00 pm the next day with the worst hangover EVER. I was still ill Monday. It is so apparent that I am over going out physically and every other way. I’ve never been more relieved to be married and all I want to do is sit next to my dude and talk or not talk all day.
A limo picked us up at Amber’s after the grossfest and drove us to Richmond. We bar hopped, which is exhausting! The first bar was so…blah. I did enjoy the attention we received from our costumes, though. We started dancing – which is weird when you haven’t danced in a long time! We left because of an argument or something of the like. I forget. The limo then took us to a fetish club which was a snooze fest. (Just don’t touch anything and you’ll be fine.) We were given a speech about not taking photos, blah, blah, blah, and if you feel like disrobing, just keep your privates covered at all times. Gross. I saw two dudes standing at the bar in tighty-whities and shoes. Laaaaaaame. Our friend fell down dancing, so we picked up her loose items and left out of embarrassment. The next bar was fun. Dorks everywhere but awesome music! We danced a lot. We sat at the bar and I babysat my new drunk friend while a loser was trying to talk to her. When we turned around to take a picture, I realized that her toolbag friend was about to drink my shot- the shot I bought myself! I slapped him on the hand before it touched his lips. He apologized. I offered to buy him a drink if he really needs one so badly (maybe he was homeless), but he said, “No, but I’ll buy YOU a drink”. I said, “No thanks, I’ll just take the one I bought myself originally”. Then I slammed it, grabbed my girls and left. The next bar was a pub and I met a cool guy that shared my birthday (he was EIGHT years younger!) and wasn’t a complete dick when I told him I was married. We talked about school and music, and he was impressed by my stories of Chris. His friend, on the other hand, was a complete tool. He kept putting his hand on my knee even after I told him not to. He was completely embarrassing to all of us. I got up after rolling my eyes for the hundredth time and said goodbye and headed to the limo for the ride back. It was an eternity of a drive. When I arrived back at Amber’s, Chris was asleep on the couch waiting for me. (He and Jason went to a Karaoke bar. How adorable!) I was so happy to be back even though I was ashamed of my scent – I smelled like an honest-to-goodness hooker. We got into bed at 4 am. I got up at 2:00 pm the next day with the worst hangover EVER. I was still ill Monday. It is so apparent that I am over going out physically and every other way. I’ve never been more relieved to be married and all I want to do is sit next to my dude and talk or not talk all day.
BTW, this invoice took twenty minutes to write!
4 comments:
Dahling, you look fabulous sans specs.
girl, you look hot! isn't it nice to know you can go with or without the glasses and still look great? ;-)
Aw, thanks. I'm a little harsher of a critic on me. Contacts are a PAIN!
You shouldn't be - you are gorgeous!
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